Physician, Heal Thyself
Kai returns. Based on what he told her last time he saw her, Erica is certain that this trip is the one where the two of them will have sex. Because the encounter already happened in Kai's past, Erica is unsure if she has the ability to change that if indeed she does not want to have sex with Kai, which based on circumstance could not blossom into a full fledged relationship. Erica brings this conundrum up at group therapy. Beyond what Erica sees as a slight glimpse of jealousy on Adam's part to this news, Dr. Tom reacts in such a way that angers Erica and that could threaten her therapy with him altogether. What Erica is unaware of is that Dr. Tom is dealing with something in his own life out of need. Dr. Arthur has been concerned that Tom has been hiding behind work rather than take time to reflect and enjoy his own therapied life. The situation which he and his wife Marjorie are facing is the return of their daughter, Sarah, who is very much in need of help but whose actions show that she is unable or really unwilling to clean up her life. This situation makes Tom feel helpless, unlike how he feels when he is dealing with his patients. Meanwhile, Sam has gone from one extreme to another in her public dealings with Lenin, this time overcompensating for their professional disparities. Full Plot Voiceover: "Life, they say, is a series of moments big and small, joyous and tragic. It's these moments that give our life shape and meaning, that call us to examine the path we've taken, and what the future holds." Someone gets off a bus. Dr. Arthur comes to Dr. Tom's office and says six is too much. Dr. Tom explains Erica was his last patient and she is now in group. He want to take on more patients, and Dr. Arthur says that's not wise. He admires a Balanese statue in Dr. Tom's office. It turns out he's not concerned about quality of patient care. The Balanese have a philosophy - life in balance is the key to happiness. Dr. Tom says he's read this and Dr. Arthur says yes, you have a lot of books in your office. But when was the last time you took a holiday? Met a woman? What about your life outside of work? Dr. Tom doesn't want a life other than the one he has. Dr. Arthur: Sooner or later life has a way of finding us whether we want it to or not. Arrangements will be made to take on an additional patient. I'll let you answer that. As he is leaving, the phone rings. It's Marjorie, telling Dr. Tom that Sarah's come home. Sarah is disheveled, and Dr. Tom is overwhelmed and hugs her. He wants to know what happened, telling her he won't judge her. She took a trip west with her boyfriend Martin, and went past Vancouver to Santa Fe, living out of the van. One day she woke up and Martin had left with everything. Dr. Tom wanted to know why she didn't call and she was scared he would say I told you so. Sarah: Not long after he left, I met these guys and started using heroin. Dr. Tom: Are you still? Sarah: Yes. But I want to get clean, it's why I'm here. That's good. Marjorie: How did you live? You had no money, no job, you were addicted to drugs. Sarah: I figured it out... I did what I needed to do to get money when I needed it. At Goblins, Dave continues to get Kai's voicemail. Dave: I can hear you on the radio, it would be even better to talk to you. Erica and Judith walk in - brunch for two. Judith needs a break as part of her therapy. She looks miserable, and Erica asks if there is anything she can do? Judith says this, and wants to catch up Erica's life. Met anyone lately? Erica: I'm taking a self imposed break from anything man related. I'm sick of second guessing men, and reading their mixed signals. She insists she's not looking, and is happy with her life. At the hospital, Sam and Lenin decide on dinner tomorrow since they're both off. A resident comes in and tells Lenin someone spilled juice, and when Lenin doesn't go right away, tells him to clean it now. Sam interrupts, saying he is being rude and wants to know his attending physician. The resident is afraid and backs off, but Lenin says he'll clean up the mess and gives Sam a look. Sarah had a fantasy she would clean herself up, go back to school, and become a huge success. She had to face reality that wasn't going to happen, and reached a point where she had to do something. Coming home was the scariest thing. Her parents tell her she did the right thing, they're going to help her. Dr. Tom asks for a commitment to see this through and she says yes. "Whatever your past has been, you have a spotless future. - Melanie Gustafson." Dave is leaving his fifth message for Kai, when Kai asks him how long do I have? He's sitting at the bar, and Dave hugs him. Kai was slammed, having done Montreal last night and Ottawa. Jody introduces himself, and wants to know how many will attend the open mike? He doesn't look happy, and says he's going to be a dick, Head is one of the hottest things and Kai is doing them a huge favor. Erica and Judith walk in, and Erica is surprised to see her Kai from the future. Kai: In the original timeline I blew Dave off, 200 people showed up... The guy used to lend me money, let me borrow his car. I'm going to play whether Jody likes it or not. Last time I was here playing Alien Like You and you were smiling. Erica says Yeah... I guess that was the last time you saw me... Kai asks how's Ethan? Erica says fine but Kai knows something is wrong and she confesses that she and Ethan broke up four months ago the night Kai returned back to the future. Dr. Tom gets out of a cab, and there are police cars in front of Marjorie's house. Marjorie tells him Sarah is gone, she was going to take a nap and Marjorie went to get groceries, and Sarah took everything - money, her jewelry. Erica comes home and sees Kai who says: Do you have any idea how hard it was to shake Jody? Erica thinks his therapy must be going well and he says one thing he's learned is that he needs to take chances, emotional chances. Kai: I think you're gorgeous, and original and brave. I want to be with you... I'm not asking for a relationship, I know that's impossible. I just want one night. They kiss, and Erica realizes she needs to think about it. Kai leaves. She changes her mind, opens the door and ends up in group. SHe asks where's Dr. Tom? He comes in, he had been delayed. Erica relates a few weeks ago Kai came back on regret, and said next time he saw her they would sleep together. Her future, his past. Group: Can he do that? Dr. Tom? A distracted Dr. Tom answers: Apparently he can. Erica is confused and wants to know, can I even change this? Darryl: you have to go through with it to avoid a paradox. Like fate? Adam: Fate is BS. Do you want to be with him? Erica: I don't know. Group: I don't think that's true. The discussion continues and Darryl once again asks Dr. Tom what he thinks, and he explodes: What? Sleep with Kai, don't sleep with Kai? Is this why we came together? Adam says Erica has a right to ask. Dr. Tom rants about such a banal issue: There are people in this world who have real problems, this is not a real problem, and he leaves. Everyone looks at Erica in shock, she says excuse me, I have to go, and leaves. Dr. Tom is fuming in his office, then leaves and walks into Erica's apartment. She is shocked and wants to know what he's doing. He yells: No, what are you doing? After two years you cannot resolve something like this on your own? I'm disappointed! I expected more from you. If you don't possess sufficient insight, if you need this level of hand holding maybe you're not ready for group. Are you hearing me?! A shaken Erica tells him: You need to leave. Go. He leaves and she cries. At the hospital, Lenin approaches Sam at a vending machine. Sam: How come you can rescue me, but when I defend you, you give me a death stare? Is it because you're a guy? Lenin: That was not called for, the doctor didn't do anything wrong. Sam: He was ordering you around, treating you rude. Lenin: Like a janitor? He tells her his job is a means to an end, it doesn't define him, and she needs to let this go and just enjoy the adventure. Dr. Arthur meets Dr. Tom at a bar. Dr. Tom: I can't save Sarah. She needs more help than I can give her. Dr. Arthur: She needs to find her own way. Dr. Tom chuckles: Her own way. And what if she fails? Dr. Arthur: Then she fails. Dr. Tom: Well, I can't accept that. Dr. Arthur: You don't have a choice. Dr. Tom: No, but you do. You could make her a paitent, give her a doctor. Give her the chance I was given. Dr. Arthur: That's not how it works and you know it. Dr. Tom: I failed at marriage, fatherhood. Dr. Arthur: You're an excellent doctor. Dr. Tom: I'm screaming at my patients! Is this what excellent doctors do? Dr. Tom loses control and asks what is happening to me? Dr. Arthur: What does it mean when history repeats itself? We failed to learn from it. Dr. Tom flashes back to when he jumps off the building and wakes up in Dr. Naadiah's office for the first time. Tom: Where am I? Dr. Naadiah: You're in my office. Dr. Arthur and Dr. Tom are watching. Tom looks around: I jumped. I remember falling through the air, and then... What, I survived? Dr. Naadiah: No. Tom: This is what happens when you die? Dr. Naadiah: This is what happened to you. This is not your standard destination. Tom: Why am I here? Dr. Naadiah: You're being given an unusual opportunity. Now you have a choice to make. Accept or not accept help. This involves commitment, seeing things through to the end. Dr. Arthur: Look at that man in there, look how far you've come, why are you falling apart again? Dr. Tom: My daughter needs help, and I can't give that to her. Dr. Arthur: No, that's an old story. There's more to it than that. Watch. Listen. Dr. Naadiah asks Tom: Why did you decide to end your life? Tom: I don't have a life. I'm useless. I failed at everything. I failed my wife, my little girl, and myself. Dr. Tom doesn't want to watch this, it's pointless, he's lived it. Dr. Arthur: Why did you jump off that building? I wnat to hear it from you. Dr. Tom: I was a failure. Dr. Arthur chuckles: It goes deeper than that. You couldn't save your daughter so you're depriving yourself of your own life. You devote your life to saving others, you're diligent, compulsive. But it hasn't helped, and now Sarah is back, which brought all of this roaring back. Look. Tom has written his list of regrets. Dr. Naadiah: Tell me about regret #2, killing yourself. You want to undo that? Tom: Undo? You mean I don't have to die? Dr. Naadiah: You're being given chance to live. Dr. Arthur: You've been given the chance to live. So live. Adam visits Erica's apartment. He was worried about her, he'd never saw Dr. Tom like that. Erica: You missed the grand finale, he followed me here, saying he had second thoughts, that I shouldn't be in group therapy. Adam thinks that's insane and asks what are you going to do about Kai. She hasn't decided yet, Adam: Well, I don't think you should go through with it. Kai seems messed up. You deserve someone a lot better. Erica: Don't look at me like that. Don't show up on my front door step and tell me not to sleep with Kai. He might be screwed up but at least he's honest. She sarcastically mimics him lecturing her about honesty and in anger he leaves. At Goblins, Erica had decided to avoid Kai, but then does show up when Kai gets up to sing. Afterwards, they walk home and talk, kiss, and make love. Dr. Tom enters into a prison to see Sarah. She wants to know: Why are you here? Dr. Tom: Because there are so many things I want to say to you, but don't know if now is the right time. Sarah: Say it, I deserve it all. Dr. Tom: I love you, and I have never stopped thinking about you. Seeing what's happened breaks my heart. I want to help you but I'm afraid I can't, and even if I did, it wouldn't be enough. Sarah: Why are you being so nice to me after what I did? Dr. Tom: I'm letting go of the outcome. I can't fix this for you. And I can't take responsibility for it. Sarah whispers: I never asked you to. Dr. Tom: I know that. I want more than anyting for you to put your life back together. Sarah: I don't know if I can. Kai gets in a cab and leaves. Dr. Tom shows up to talk to Erica: I came to apologize. I should never have said those things. I know that doesn't make it better. Erica: It makes things a little better. You really hurt me. Dr. Tom: I know. I should have explained, should have cancelled the session. Sarah came back yesterday and it was a very difficult day but I shouldn't have taken that out on you. Erica: Are you OK? Dr. Tom: Yeah. Erica: If you need to take time, it's OK, you have a life. Dr. Tom muses: hmm. I have a life. Indeed. Thank you. Erica: Dr. Tom, you've been there for me, if you need anything I want to be there for you. Dr. Tom: OK, see you in group. Category:Season 3 Episodes